All Hallows Eve is just around the corner … so that can only mean one thing….. My annual rundown of the best Halloween specials hitting your TV this year. Everything from ghosts to poltergeists to someone running around with a chainsaw for a hand to Joan Crawford as a crazy woman … THIS is the most wonderful time of the year: Tuesday, October 1, 2019 11:00am – … Continue reading Howland’s Terror TV Listings 2019
Just like a magic fairytale, for every horrible angry tweet we get from a tyrant, karma gives us a magnificent butterfly of a viral sensation. This time it’s of everyone’s favorite muppet, Ivanka Trump. Yesterday someone alerted me to the incredibly awkward photo array of Trump at the G-20 summit with his daughter, Ivanka, front and center every photo, sitting there like an idiot and … Continue reading #UnwantedIvanka
It’s finally here… the most important day in any “Geek Calendar”… … it’s INTERNATIONAL STAR WARS DAY!! Why today? Because it’s May the 4th…. as in “May the Fourth Be With You” (Get it??) Ok so here’s your quick obligatory history lesson: You have Margaret Thatcher to thank for “Star Wars Day.” True story. Here’s why: In 1977, Star Wars hit the theatres. Back then it was just … Continue reading Holy Sith! It’s Star Wars Day!
Well it’s the most magical time of the year again and it appears we’re on the verge of another National Holiday this weekend. That’s right… I’m talking about my BIRTHDAY! The most important event of the social season… and it’s taking place this Sunday, April 7th (but don’t worry.. I’ll still accept belated presents). Now of course a birthday celebration isn’t all about the “free stuff” … Continue reading You May be a Year Older…. but… Free Stuff!
Well it’s that time of year again… it’s Super Bowl weekend! Great news if you’re a die-hard football fan and your team is ready to smash the competition!! … but what if you know absolutely nothing about football and you’re suddenly invited to a Super Bowl party?? Of course you have to go (I mean the word “party” is in there for a reason) but … Continue reading How to FAKE Your Way Through Super Bowl LIII
Ok so we’re down to the week before Christmas and I’m willing to bet that at some point recently you’ve heard a Christmas song on the radio that has totally made you cringe. Up until this year, that song (for me) was “The Christmas Shoes.” Ever hear it? It’s horrific. It’s essentially sung from the perspective of a little boy (who, oddly enough, sounds like … Continue reading Avoiding “The Christmas Shoes” And Other Auditory Disasters
Well a new month is upon us and Jack Frost is already nipping at your naughty bits so that means that your FAVORITE TV shows are getting bumped off by movies featuring kids buying shoes for dead women while someone sings a sappy song about Christmas. That’s right… it’s “Christmas Movie Season” and I’ve put together my annual list of “Every Single Christmas Movie On Your … Continue reading Howland’s Annual List of EVERY Christmas Show This Season
Well tomorrow is the big day and whether you’re spending it with family or friends (or friends of friends), you and I both know you can’t show up empty handed. So why not bring that special “something” that will make sure your stomach isn’t the ONLY jiggly thing at the Thanksgiving table?? Ladies and gentlemen, I present… CRANBERRY JELLO SHOTS!! This is honestly the greatest thing ever. I mean … Continue reading The Perfect “Frat Party Inspired” Creation to Bring On Thanksgiving
Well Thanksgiving is just around the corner… a time of friends, family, food, and the MACY’S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE! Ok so.. little known fact: I actually MARCHED in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade back in 2000 (Yes really). My buddy, Dan, and I went bar hopping the night before (because, why not?), caught a bus at Colonie Center, ended up at Harold Square at 5am and then hopped another bus uptown to … Continue reading Howland’s Top Tips For Hacking the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
Well kids… here we are. It’s the “morning after” (technically the “night after” but I’m going for a cute metaphor here). Whether you handed out candy to trick-or-treaters last night, raided your kids stockpile, or simply went to your local store today and spent your entire paycheck on discount-Halloween-candy, there’s a pretty good chance you’re reading this whilst sitting a few feet away from a … Continue reading Alcohol Pairings for Leftover Halloween Candy